So obviously, the last attempt failed and I quit using this blog a year ago. Like I said, this whole weightloss thing has never worked well for me. But I have gotten back on the horse once again and joined Weight Watchers last night with my daughter, Amanda, who bribed me to join.

The name of this blog is pretty self explanitory -- I don't like dieting. Lifestyle change? Let's be honest, it's a damn diet. I know calling it a lifestyle change makes it sound less painful and more positive but I've been dealing with weight issues all of my life and I'm no stranger to "diets." There is no other way to lose weight than count calories or points, whatever name they are given. I can't eat a 12 oz steak or a bowl of ice cream or a big ol' plate of lasagna. I can have a 6 oz steak, a cup of fro-yo and a 2x4 piece of lasagna. I have to stop drinking coke and drink more water which I hate. I'm hoping that new squeezy drink enhancer stuff will help.

In the past, I've attempted to lose weight because I wanted to. I mean, I needed to, but I didn't really believe that. Now, after seeing recent photos, I realized I need to. And I don't want to. I admit it. I'm lazy and doing all the work that needs done, exercise and counting points, is just more brain power I'd rather not spend.

But there's no doubt, that if I don't do this, I will die and early death. And now I have a granddaughter that I love more than life that I wish to see grow up. Being just 43, I can see her grow up and then some if I can live past 70. I also have another grandchild on the way. My kids, even though adults, still need me. And I'm not ready to go anywhere yet.

A large man who I knew casually died at 53 last week. I don't want to be dead at 53. I can't make any guarantees, but at least I can try to do what I can to help keep me here on earth.

So...here we go again...