We all know misery loves company so for the next several months, I am asking all if you to keep me company during my self-inflicted time of misery.

I should be more optimistic. After all, this is an exciting time for me, a life-changing experience — and the hardest thing I’ve probably ever done.

I’ve been overweight my entire life. A cute, chubby girl with blond curls, I grew into a very curvaceous teenager. After having three children in three and a half years, I gained a total of 80 pounds.

I grew up in a Jewish home where bagels, matzo balls and fried latkes (potato pancakes) were everyday foods. Everyone in my family was overweight (except my brother who began jogging as a teenager).

Throughout the years I had so many excuses not to lose weight. I was still pretty active and didn’t have a problem meeting men. I felt good.

Then I turned 40 — and it all fell apart.

Almost immediately, my blood pressure went up along with my sugar. My knees and hips started acting up and I no longer recognized the person in the mirror.

I realized that all my health problems (gastric reflux disease, high blood pressure and cholesterol, border-line Type 2 diabetes, hormonal imbalance, etc.) could be almost eradicated by losing weight.

But it took a night of no sleep to make me realize just how dangerous my weight had become.

I couldn’t sleep because I was afraid I wasn’t going to wake up. I had been having chest pains and I swore I was going to have a heart attack while I slept.

Of course, I didn’t.

I went to a cardiologist recently and had every test under the sun. My heart, right now, is good. I do suffer from palputations but probably will my whole life but there are things I can do to make them more tolerable.

While at the doctor's office, he asked me. “How many obese people who are older than 55 do you see walking around?”

I thought about it and realized not many.

This isn’t a diet — it’s a lifestyle change. It’s 41 years of bad habits being changed.

And there are days I just don't want to be bothered.

I've read so many blogs and stories of people who lost weight and they're all so damn positive and seem so sure of themselves.

Well, I'm not. And this isn't my first try at this "getting healthy" thing. And I don't know if I will succeed this time with either the weight or quitting smoking.

I'm hoping those who read this will share with me their ups and downs and maybe, together, we can at least make some uphill moves.